BILL OF NO RIGHTS
We, the sensible people of the United States,
in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of justice,
avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior
and secure the blessings of debt-free
liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to
ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally
whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed wetters. We
hold these
truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were
confused by the Bill
of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of
No Rights
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or
any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone
- not just
you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc.,
but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your
eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and
all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the
right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be
found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE
V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the
looks of public housing, we're just not interested
in health care.
ARTICLE
VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
or intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want
to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right
to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away goods or services
of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you
away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or
a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that
our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We
hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight
if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want
to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military
uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All
of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have
the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue
happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance
of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.The
WAR is NOT over...till the last Hero comes home...
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
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